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♥ Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Okay its rather a tiring day...This day started with a surprise..Miss Lavania will be taking over the student councillors..o.o shes my form mum, sc teacher, ss teacher, english teacher, as well as npcc mum. Will be seeing her even more frequently o.0 Had a surprise english compo test nor today.. Got drenched till a rather pathatic state when on way going fer recess but went to drink two cups of milo. They were icy cold but not as ice frozen as my heart.I got to know that i failed my first chinese test in history?! Was feeling quite down for the rest of the day but it was left unsaid. Tried my best to act normal and dun think any1 noticed my hidden sorrows...During break, Jianli came to me telling me that he was feeling rather unwell..Told yong xiang to get some medicine back for him but he told justin and some maroons did not allowed justin to go out to get medicine..I would rather you stand up for urself and stop being a puppet of that person!!! I was urtterly disappointed with someone.I decided to skip my D&T and dash out to t mall in the drizzling rain.I am willing, though i know i might even get a yellow form fer it.Jianli's health was at stake and he was in pain! I seriously cannot bear him to see him suffer!After i passed him the medicine, i went back to class. Mr hazmi did not blame me or anything, i just passed my D&T. Cos of Jianli's condition, i was rather worried and could not really concentrate in class just now.. Straight away after we were dismissed, i was the first person to leave class and went straight to 1R4 and discovered that they did abandoned me which i expected things to be this way.. But i just wanna ask.. is it fair to me that i'm always abandoned by everyone always? After training also like that..During training ignored my existance completely...Shld have gotten used to it liaoz but still somehow feel that i am just thin air to everyone that everyone cannot see cannot feel. I still feel hurt over that serious..But i wont let myself get hurt anymore! I wan to make things clear that i'm something that is exixtent on Earth that u can see me and of equal status with you! Its useless treating someone nice its because the person that you are treating you good how are they treating you in return?! LIKE SHIT! Compensate me? BULL SHIT! Treat me like close friend?! BULL SHIT!! YOU ABANDONED ME! You made me heartache! You are so realistic! Unless you need me for something or i'm just purely water vapour.Can you tell me why?Afraid to go into KFC cos you are with me and that will downgrade you right? it will disgrace you right? OK! i'm all alone..seriously you every time will be telling me you are remoseful over things but are you?! You say you care about me and made me feel that i really do mean at least something to you but i made a grave mistake! U just live off me and in fact i'm just a tool! You do not even care a hoot about my life and death! Refer to this to know what is the friend i truly need is this......Forget it..so emotional now...Ah kor... Ah kor i'm missing you and vivien badly....... cos i know you both will never treat me this way...nevermind Campcraft training was not bad..Missed normal trainings..i realised i missed so many trainings after i go for NPDP...Cannot even attend sec 1 orientation cos of LEADS for leaders?! My elbow got sliced by the tree branch..After cc training, waited for Irfan to finsish sports day training as he is taking part for Javlin^^and we both went home together..Irfan treated me to snack! Thank you and i'm rooting for you junior! Add oil sports lover!^^ Zhou called me fat during training but i treated it as normal teasing and ignored..When he needed tissue i giv him, he apologised to me...i felt so touched.. really... bye calling it off a day!

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Wednesday, March 04, 2009