After leaving the house without my anticipated phone call, i had no destination. No idea of where am i going or what am i gonna do. Felt very lost. I strolled slowly towards the bus stop. Suddenly when i lifted my head, i saw 43. Suddenly this thought came to my mind. I'm going to punggol and surprise raiden when he calls me and i say :" hey, i'm in punggol". Of course another flash image that came about was my lovely randal and fabian's "jiejie!" Their mum said will be bringing them to seng kang, their friend's house..So guess i won't see them even if i were to go all the way to punggol i guess? So the flash was just a day dream. So i boarded 43 and seriously took all the way till punggol temp inter. Guess when girlfriends hear this they're gonna say i'm nuts. Yeah. The pain of missing my kids and someone is driving me nuts. But nuts, who understands? The whole journey took around one hr.

Just nice after alighting the bus, i wandered into the mrt station. Hui Juan's sms came. I had two choice. One, take LRT down alone to Meridian. Choice two, take circle line down to bishan. He din call me after all.. Dun think can surprise him liao.. Make a guess which choice did i make? If u say its the First choice.. Wrong. I took the second choice. Very cruel i know.. I'm being cruel to myself.. Regardless how much i wanna see them.. i won't.. Anyway today i'm alone too.. Hes not with me.. Its pointless going.. Though elder one will look for me to play maths games. Younger one will crawl all around me and finally into my arms, onto my lap. Thinking of those days as i helpessly walked towards the MRT.. I managed to meet Hui juan in no time at yck mrt. Made her wait for quite long.. very apologetic..On the mrt to boon lay to pick jia hao, she managed to convince me to call the poor penguin.

As i anticipated, he indeeed forgotten..We always talked nonsense. But its the nonsense that i look forward to hear everyday. Its wierd. But he seems to be my verbal diary that i'll narrate my everyday doings to him. Hahax.. Somehow i just enjoy doing it. Let him know my daily doings. But think he listen also listen until sian lor.. I'm sort of worried. What will happen after my result release? Might just lose him for good..Without the kids, we won't be how close we are today.. But yet sometimes this got me thinking. He calls me out of concern or purely for the kids? Cus i'm the only one that he can say all he wants bout the kids. Regardless which one it is.. I'm contented with what we have now.. Even he call me just for the kids. Need me cause the younger one loves me. I dun mind. I also dun want to go think.. Its too painful for me to know the ugly truth. As long as he bothers about me and care about me.. Its enough.

Many told me that this might just become a bubble dream..That day went with cm jia hao and abel to bugis temple. hao and me each drew a lot. My lot says that i should forget about him and revert. Cause we both won't last. But i'm stubbond. Regardless what people say or lot say, I'm not giving up on him. We've came this far.. I dun want to give up.. i love him..

After a while of chatting, we hit boon lay. I haven had lunch. He and hui juan both side persuation. I ended up going to jurong point for lunch. Pepper lunch. He promised to kidnap me by dinner. Duno if will come true. See about it later=] this poor penguin need to stay home do house work and some kind of.... chores i guess? Waiting for his mum's call after calling his sis and bro that they're not coming bak for dinner. He promise to call me back.. Lets see if he'll forget.

He always tries his best to make me happy..Whenever i miss my boys and tell him over the phone, he'll try to sound like my younger son and say yah.or when i say bye bye, he'll sound like my younger son and say.. jiejie.. plz plz.. don't go.. It sounded so sweet.. He wun noe and dun know. This small small acts accumulate and really warm my heart when i'm cold.. Guess its like what i always tell him. Think i can never find a guy like you ever again.. U're the reason that make me reluctant to let go..

After eating my sort of lunch, i went over to meet the love birds at the bus stop. Chua poped today. He carried a two bags of unknown things. We decided to cab back to his house. It was chilly on the cab.. He kept his promise and called back. We all decided to meet at jia hao's house. He was telling me he wanted to catch korean air but its at 11 plus.. I just told him straight on the face. If he wants to get it. I'll stay with him till the end. Guess if let some people hear they're gonna scold me being silly liao. I love him.. too bad.. I'm giving my all this tine. thats all that went through my mind. Parents how settle later then say.When reach jia hao's house, i'm sort of tired that i fell asleep on the sofa. I knew what was happening at surrounding but just simply dun wan to open my eyes to see. I think hui juan tried many times to wake me up but fail. He very smart.. Dunnid use mouth de. Use finger poke me then wake up le=P Yeah..

We took 24 down to CA and had swensens. I was just joking about having it..He took my words seriously=P After swensens we popped over to mac and up to the viewing mall. I see kids that resember my didi but not cuter than him of cuz. I miss him and randal.. Let them disturb and bully me also nevermind..

He got his korean air. The happiness on his face..can sink someone. His eyes is red wine.. I sense the sense of victory and Achievement.. Nth can match up to seeing that on his face. Everything its worth it.. what i prayed came true. =) Guess theres nothing else i demand for.. Suddenly feel i'm very demanding leh.. Ok.. On the bus and mrt, i sense his worry.. Its the first time. He said hes worried..I'm happy too.. Thanks for everything tonight..